


Iridescent

by PeachesNCreamBarbie



Series: Fluorescent (Dark Billwise fics) [2]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Bill does not die, Bill's parents are awful and I hate them, Circus costumes, Creepy Pennywise (IT), Dark Ending, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Depressing Thoughts, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Hurt manipulative comfort, Immense Regret, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Nightmares, No Smut, Past Character Death, Pennywise is awful just warning you now, Pennywise is horrifically affectionate, Self-Hatred, Stockholm Syndrome, Underage - Freeform, You can read this on its own but its better to read the first story and then this, attempted drowning, sequel i guess, sorry for all the tags, this is really depressing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-17 04:56:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20615348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachesNCreamBarbie/pseuds/PeachesNCreamBarbie
Summary: Bill knew that, deep down, his dreams of cotton candy and hot dogs couldn't last forever. When you were stuck in a sewer tunnel with a clown...no, a monster, there was never to be any joy.





	Iridescent

**Author's Note:**

> After an entire year of silence, I'm back with a new story! Sorry, it has been a crazy year for me, but I finally got a new computer and can write again!!! Anyway! As you can see by the tags, this is a continuation of my story Crystal Tears. I apologize in advance if my portrayal of mental instability is ignorant. I am not very knowledgeable about the subject and only started studying psychology this year. I think it's important to know that this was slightly inspired by Lauren Bousfield's music, which is great music for these two! I hope you enjoy this new addition!!!

Bill knew that, deep down, his dreams of cotton candy and hot dogs couldn't last forever. When you were stuck in a sewer tunnel with a clown...no, a monster, there was never to be any joy. How could he be so foolish? Pennywise would never be genuine with Its affections and It would never be anything more than a macabre monster. Looking up through the well, Bill could see patches of daylight leaking through. That was simply all he could do now that he was residing inside of the dingy sewer.

The stench of dead bodies was starting to make his stomach twist and turn. You could argue that being there for an entire month that he should be adjusted to the smell, but he wasn't.

If anything, Bill was regaining his confidence. Oh, yes, Pennywise had comforted him and brought him food, but he refused to let himself fall to Its schemes. At times, his heart would betray him, and Bill would be oh, so happy at Its arrival with his food. But now, an entire month later, just the simple thought of feeling any happiness around Pennywise was absurd.

Pennywise was the pinnacle of everything bad that had happened to Bill. His friends were brutally murdered and ripped apart by It, his brother's life ended too early thanks to It, and Bill's mind was betraying him.

The sewer water moved slowly, getting onto his clothes and drenching him as he glanced at the well, becoming desperate.

Inhaling deeply, Bill screamed at the top of his lungs. Desperate situations required drastic measures as his parents would say, and he refused to be stuck in that damn sewer any longer. Pennywise, the sewer, the stench, and everything was slowly making his brain rot away. Bill knew he hadn't been himself since Pennywise bit him. It was so obvious.

If Beverly and the rest of the gang saw him in this state, they would be ashamed.

_"How could you let this happen?"_ Beverly would ask, where the others would exclaim in disgust at his disheveled appearance.

_"Dude, you look like the fucking creature from the black lagoon! Sick!"_ Richie would say, trying to make a joke for the others.

But they weren't there, and Bill knew they were never coming back. His screams started to die down as he looked to the side, seeing Beverly's legs. That was the painful reminder that followed him throughout every turn in the sewer. No matter how hard he tried to block it out, the decaying limbs would be placed in front of him, taunting him. Each time he saw their bodies, he couldn't help but regret every little thing he had done, whether it was good or bad. Pennywise was trying to scare him, and the least he could do for his deceased friends was fighting off the fear that held itself deep inside of his heart, waiting to burst out.

He tightened his jaw, pushing himself off of the nasty sewer floor and looking back at the well.

The light had already vanished.

////

A gloved finger reached out, pressing itself deep into Bill's cheek. The feeling was all too familiar for him, as he had felt it a million times before. Pennywise was standing right beside him, Its mouth twisted into a grin with the likeness of the Cheshire Cat. Remaining still, Bill could feel saliva slowly drip onto his shirt, soaking through and making his shirt stick to his skin. It was disgusting and caused him to shiver as Pennywise snickered.

"Do you want to play a game with me?" Pennywise said, Its voice dripping with menace as Bill scowled, refusing to speak to the creature despite his interest in what game It planed to play with him. Would it be another round of tag or would it be hide and seek, ending with yet another bite mark on his stomach? The bitemark, although relatively healed, still ached from time to time.

Bill glanced over at the creature as Its smiled slowly turned down, making him flinch. The fear inside of his heart was starting to sprout, ready to expose itself to Pennywise when he looked away, pushing the feeling back down for what seemed like the millionth time that day.

Pennywise groaned. "Answer me." It demanded, pressing Its finger against his cheek once more, this time with more force behind it. Bill grimaced, finding himself stuttering out an answer even though he had tried his best not to.

"W-W-What g-game do y-you want t-to play?" Bill asked softly and Pennywise clapped Its hands together, laughing loudly. It was acting like a toddler at this point, wanting everything It's way and never accepting a different way or answer or-.

"Marco Polo! You've played it before, so you know all the rules, Billy Boy!" It sneered, narrowing Its eyes which were a shade of yellow. Bill's gut began to twist and turn as he shuddered, anticipating another trick from the creature as It grabbed his arms, pulling him closer to Its body.

"You say "Marco," and then I try and find you! Are you ready, Billy Boy? It's gonna be **SO** much fun!" It dug Its nails into his skin and he let out a small whimper. Bill couldn't let the fear get to him now, especially when he was trying to make it up to his friends and brother.

The chilly air in the sewer caused goosebumps to form on his arms as Pennywise smirked, letting go of his arms and slowly moving his hands up as Bill watched, holding his breath. "1..." Pennywise began counting down as It grabbed at his throat, slowly squeezing it with more force as Bill let out a gasp.

"2! Time to play!" Pennywise shouted before forcing him down into the sewer water, pressing down on his body with Its knees. Bill's hands moved up to Pennywise's, grabbing and scratching at them, trying his best to pry them off of his throat. Through the water, Bill could hear Pennywise laughing hysterically, Its eyes glowing a bright yellow now.

Bill couldn't breathe, trying his best not to inhale water as it flooded his nose and ears, filling up inside of his lungs. The only movement he could make was the thrashing of his head from side to side, terrified at the prospect of dying to a sociopathic monster.

Pennywise rolled Its eyes, jerking him out of the water and holding him up, his feet barely touching the ground. Bill coughed, his vision swimming as Pennywise clicked Its tongue, shaking Its head. "Say it, B-B-Bill!" It mocked as he coughed once more, water coming out of his mouth. He was shocked that he didn't die from sheer exhaustion.

As he blinked repeatedly, Bill let out a small "Marco" before Pennywise let go of his throat, causing him to drop down to the ground. Bill lost his balance, falling backward and wincing at the sharp pain that shot through his back as he sobbed. Pathetic, wasn't it? Even after constantly telling himself to be courageous and stand up to the creature, Bill had let the fear overtake him once more as he did with every scare tactic Pennywise used against him.

It looked down at him, plopping down on the ground beside Bill and pouting. "Oh, Billy Boy, don't make me sad! We were having so much fun!" It exclaimed as It grabbed his arms, pulling him close. Bill could barely move due to complete terror and pain. He didn't even get upset when he felt the creature run Its gloved hand through his hair.

The look in Its eyes was so gentle, and for a moment, Bill wondered if there was a part of It that was human. If It could feel sympathy or anything. It was stupid of him to think so, but he was beginning to feel like nothing was as it truly seemed in the sewer.

"You weren't sad the last time we had fun, were you? We cuddled just like this and you slept for hours and hours!" Pennywise continued, rubbing Its hand in circles on his back, despite the shirt being completely drenched in water. It was clinging to his skin with droplets running down his back. Bill wept, hiding his face in Pennywise's collar. Comfort was a feeling that shouldn't exist with the depths of the sewer. Pennywise was not the type of thing that was made for comfort, and yet, he still clung to the creature like It was the only thing keeping him stable.

There was something deep inside of Bill that was desperate to crawl out. A part of him that he had tried to deny time after time again that started to pop up when poor Georgie died. It was calling out to him, scratching at his insides every time it spoke.

_You just keep denying it, but you deserve comfort! After all, look at what Mommy and Daddy did when their favorite son died. They ignored you! Your friends ignored your warnings and wound up dead! All because no one wanted to trust you or care for you. What makes you so undeserving than the rest? _ It continuously asked, going on and on as Bill huffed, gripping the fabric of Its collar so tightly he was sure that he would rip it to pieces.

"Sleep tight, Billy Boy. Don't let the bed bugs bite!" Pennywise crooned as Bill felt himself slowly drifting away like the many balloons in the sewer.

////

_A warm light glowed in the distance, beckoning him to walk towards it. Bill stood there, still as a mountain as he stared at the light. It had a hypnotizing effect on him, but he couldn't move. Perhaps there was glue stuck to his shoes._

_He looked down at his feet, expecting to see his regular tennis shoes when all he saw were red dance shoes, sparkling. Shrieking, Bill stumbled back, breathing heavily. Why were those on his feet? Bill never did ballet! It seemed so unusual to be wearing them, as they were squeezing tightly on his feet._

_This had to have been some sort of trick thanks to Pennywise. Bill huffed, looking down and seeing the rest of his outfit. His pants were striped capris with bells hanging off of the end, jingling with each step he took. Reaching his hands to his stomach, he felt the fabric of his new top. It had to have been some sort of spandex that was covered in glitter._

_Bill wanted to throw up at the realization that he was in a circus getup. He wasn't a clown or a performer and Pennywise was not the ringmaster._

_Suddenly, the warm light flashed brightly as Bill covered his eyes, scared that it was some sort of explosion. The room was unfamiliar, and he didn't want to risk dying in whatever he was in._

_The warm light grew dim as he lowered his hands slowly, looking right at a reflection of himself. It stood right in front of him, wearing his tennis shoes and his shirt. His reflection stared back at him, frowning. Shivers shot through Bill's body as his reflection crossed its arms._

_"W-W-What have y-you d-done?" It asked him and he furrowed his eyebrows, holding his hands out. Was this a nightmare? Or was this happening for real? He couldn't tell anymore._

_"Me?" He asked and his eyes widened, surprised that he didn't stutter. Ever since he was in the sewer, Bill thought his stutter was getting worse, but that seemed to be the complete opposite._

_His reflection nodded, pointing a pale finger right at him. "Y-Y-You r-ruined m-m-me." It spat out in anger._

_Bill scoffed, stepping forward. "I know t-t-this is an illusion!" He yelled out, still surprised at his change of speech. His reflection closed its eyes, sitting down on the ground before a flood of water entered the room, forcing the lamp down as his reflection stayed completely still. _ _Adrenaline pumped through his veins as he ran forward, trying to grab his reflection. _

_He grabbed its arm, only to have it completely melt in his hands. There was no blood and no bones, but rather, muddy water._

_Bill screamed like never before._

_////_

His eyes shot wide open, his breath ragged as he leaned forward off of the filthy mattress. The light from the well was finally shining down into the sewer, and as Bill looked around, he could see something shining. Water dripped from the walls, making very little noise as Bill inhaled deeply, looking back down at his feet and seeing the same dance shoes from his nightmare.

They were covered in the same muddy water from his nightmare, running down to the tip and dripping into the sewer water. Bill went stiff, feeling his heart stop for a second. In the distance, he could hear Pennywise's bells jingling, growing louder as It approached him.

"I made you a new outfit! Your old one was boring, so I spiced it up!" Pennywise yelled as It jumped over to him, landing right in front of him. It leered at him, saliva already dripping from Its mouth as It gazed at him. Bill trembled, his face completely blank as Pennywise snickered.

Was It going to eat him now? After what seemed like an entire year, was Pennywise finally going to put him out of his misery and let him reunite with his friends? Although, as Bill continued to stare back at It, he wondered if that was even what he wanted.

Death was mysterious, like a fog that covered everything but hid from people until it felt they were ready to accept the truth. Bill didn't like surprises and he didn't like mysteries anymore. Pennywise had drained him of that enjoyment and every other enjoyment he had. It was a habit of Pennywise's to deprive every child It encountered of Its happiness, whether it be by eating them whole or keeping them for Itself.

He couldn't think fluidly anymore. If he were with his friends, Bill would be able to say something back to Pennywise like a retort or insult. Unfortunately, he didn't care to say that anymore as he sighed, ignoring the creature as It began to whisper empty words to him. It didn't even sound like a particular language. The words were all jumbled together, and the tone of Pennywise's voice was oddly soothing; oddly _human, _one of many emotions and tones that shouldn't have existed within a filthy sewer filled with dead bodies.

Pennywise looked up at him and beamed, reaching a hand up to tap on his forehead. "I know you're in there, Billy Boy. I can **_hear it._**" It said as Bill sat there, tears beginning to burn the edges of his eyes as It stopped tapping his forehead, moving away from him and standing up. There was no expression on Its face. No scowl, no grin, _nothing. _Instead, It just looked at him. The air became colder as Pennywise turned around, walking away from him. For once during his time in the sewer, It did nothing. Absolutely nothing at all.

Bill didn't like that. It wasn't like the creature to just stay silent and not pester him for moments on end. What was _wrong _with It? Why wasn't It bothering him? Why wasn't It being the way It usually was?! Letting out a sob, Bill slid off the edge of the mattress and into the water. His entire body was shaking uncontrollably and each breath he took was shorter than the last. Nothing made sense anymore. Everything going on around him was either chaos or horror with no break and no one shouting "April Fools!"

He wanted to pretend that it was all one big joke or the ultimate prank that his friends had pulled. Bill didn't want to live like this anymore. The constant conflicting emotions in his head were rotting him from the inside out, the repeated cycle of "games" and "comfort" from Pennywise was like hearing nails on the chalkboard, and seeing his friends bodies everywhere he went was _ruining him._

Bill held his face in his hands, sobbing harder than the past few times he had. He had fought so hard against the creature, and he had tried desperately to call out for help, and in the end, it amounted to nothing other than the realization that he had _failed __time after time after time-_.

It was so hopeless to be in the sewer where everything came to die. Bill thought that being in the sewer meant physical death, but now he knew that the sewer both killed people and made others brains rot until there was nothing left but the damage that Pennywise had caused.

And he was stuck in the sewer with no way out, no friends to save him, and no hope. A trulyunfortunate life.

////

_Jingle jingle!_

Bill sat on the mattress, his back straight and his hands placed on his lap. When he looked back up at the well, he could see more light, although he knew that it wasn't morning. The night had already passed, and boy, was he glad that it finally went away! He was tired of all the waterworks! It was a new day and a new him, after all. There was no time in his life for whining and crying about something that he held no control over.

"Oh, Billy Boy! Have you finally come to your senses? Your crying was so loud last night!" Pennywise shouted as It waltzed up to him, hands behind Its back as Bill found himself smiling for the first time.

"S-Sorry! I'm m-much better now!" Bill said, tilting his head as Pennywise smiled broadly, twirling around once before showing his hands and a small balloon that It was carrying. It was a lovely shade of red and reflecting the wonders of the sewer back at Bill.

Pennywise burst out laughing, placing Its empty hand on Bill's shoulder and twisting around.

_"Remember the last time I said we would float, Billy Boy? You've finally accomplished it, and now we'll float forever and ever in our happy world!"_

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully, this story wasn't too dark especially for IT! Can I just say how grateful I am for the MASSIVE feedback Crystal Tears got?! Thank you all SO SO MUCH for supporting the story and giving me kudos!! It means a lot to me!! I hope that this story was worthy enough, as you all deserve only the best!! :)


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